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PN ~

Celebrating
This Moment
This Bliss
This Too-Muchness
This Disappearing in(to) Love
                    with You       ~LP

Zu mir Zu dir (To me — To you)

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New Year’s Eve, 2011

Beloved!

With soft snow falling like rain — and the last light of the last day of the year — I hurry to a last minute post to mark the passing of everything old and rotten and no longer useful, and jump for joy for everything (EVERYTHING) that has happened since we took the next step in our Love Project with me coming to live here in commune with you.  Never (NEVER) in my  worst nightmares could I have imagined the difficulties and challenges of my crazy hop from Seattle to German Zschachenmuehle.

Never in my wildest dreams could I have foreseen the depths I had to encounter to enjoy dizzying new heights of bliss, fun, and sheer sexual pleasure that keep finding me in all sorts of moments here with you. Tears and screams, long walks with you in the Thuringen woods, wild dances in White Robe Meditation, and running through it all like the thread of our old malas, Osho, Osho Osho! 

Will I be able to do some ‘justice’ to the heart-wrenching conversations and being-opening intimacies we have been led to share with each other as male and female? I  promise to say much more here in the New Year, whether I can or not!

But for NOW, our Card of the Moment from the Osho Zen Tarot, encapsulating the discourse from last night as Osho answered a German journalist’s question ARE WOMEN MORE COURAGEOUS THAN MEN? Osho’s Answer

ABUNDANCE

In the East people have condemned the body, condemned matter, called matter “illusory,” maya – it does not really exist, it only appears to exist; it is made of the same stuff as dreams are made of. They denied the world, and that is the reason for the East remaining poor, sick, in starvation.

Half of humanity has been accepting the inner world but denying the outer world. The other half of humanity has been accepting the material world and denying the inner world. Both are half, and no man who is half can be contented. You have to be whole: rich in the body, rich in science; rich in meditation, rich in consciousness. Only a whole person is a holy person, according to me.

I want Zorba and Buddha to meet together. Zorba alone is hollow. His dance has not an eternal significance, it is momentary pleasure. Soon he will be tired of it. Unless you have inexhaustible sources, available to you from the cosmos itself…unless you become existential, you cannot become whole. This is my contribution to humanity: the whole person.

Osho Communism and Zen Fire, Zen Wind Chapter 2

Commentary:

This Dionysian character is the very picture of a whole man, a “Zorba the Buddha” who can drink wine, dance on the beach and sing in the rain, and at the same time enjoy the depths of understanding and wisdom that belong to the sage. In one hand he holds a lotus, showing that he respects and contains within himself the grace of the feminine. His exposed chest (an open heart) and relaxed belly show that he is at home with his masculinity as well, utterly self-contained. The four elements of earth, fire, water and sky all conjunct at the King of Rainbows who sits atop the book of the wisdom of life.

If you are a woman, the King of Rainbows brings the support of your own male energies into your life, a union with the soul mate within. For a man, this card represents a time of breaking through the conventional male stereotypes and allowing the fullness of the whole human being to shine forth.

~LPrutsching‘ happily with you into the New Year

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Continuing with these incredible Khajuraho pictures and Osho’s insights – only a few weeks now before we meet in Frankfurt,
Premniri

….Listen to the body and go with the body. And soon you will see… sexuality is changing into spirituality. I have heard:
The sculptor, Bernini, made the moment of orgasm his model for St. Teresa’s experience of union with God.
He searched for a model. He wanted to make a statue of St. Teresa in the state of samadhi. He searched for the model — he could not find… except a woman in orgasm.
I love the story. Yes, that is true — I agree with Bernini absolutely. You cannot find anything else which can depict ecstasy, which can symbolize ecstasy. For the moment, a woman in orgasm IS in samadhi — although for the moment only. Soon the moment will be gone and she will plunge into deep darkness.

And the woman’s orgasm is deeper than the man’s, because the man’s orgasm has become very local. It is confined to his genitalia; his whole body remains unaffected. But if a woman goes into orgasm, if she goes, then her whole body goes into it. She is more total, more rounded, more of a whole. And when her whole body is throbbing with joy, is moving in a timeless moment, is no more part of a thinking process, all thoughts have disappeared, and there is great silence — yes, only that can depict….

And that has been the insight of all the saints who have attained. Whenever they have talked about God and the experience of God’s meeting, they have always brought the metaphor from sex. It has to be orgasm — it is the ULTIMATE orgasm, it is the TOTAL orgasm, it is the ETERNAL orgasm. But where can you find the right expression for it? You can find it only in the moment, the momentary orgasm, that sex makes possible for humanity to attain.
If you go to Khajuraho, you will see that: on every lover’s face that is sculpted on the outer walls, great ecstasy. So many people go to Khajuraho and Konarka, but they only look at the lower half of these figures; they become concentrated on the genitalia. Very few people have been able to see the whole figures. And, certainly, rarely has somebody been able to see the faces of the figures — because you are so much obsessed with sexuality, for or against, that you remain confined to the lower.

If you go and see Khajuraho, don’t miss the FACES of the lovers — they have the real message. Those faces are so blissful, so calm, so meditative, that you will not find such faces sculpted anywhere else. Such great ecstasy! Even the stone has bloomed in those faces; those faces have transformed the stone into roseflowers, into lotuses. Seeing those faces you will be able to see that these lovers are no more part of time and space; they have gone beyond.

The figures are sexually active, but they are not obsessed with sex — neither for nor against. Both are obsessions — for and against simply means things are no longer natural. When things are natural, you are neither for nor against.
Are you for sleep or against sleep? If you are for, you have become unnatural; if you are against, you have become unnatural. One is not for or against sleep! It is just a natural thing so is sex. And when sex is accepted naturally, it starts growing higher. Then one day, the bud spontaneously becomes a flower. Not that you have to DO something — just let the energy move! let the sap flow and the bud WILL become the flower.

Those faces are utterly at ease, in a state of let-go. They are in the world, but not of it. And they are not doing anything; they are just like small children playing on the sea beach. They are playful. But sexually obsessed people have been very much against Khajuraho. Mahatma Gandhi wanted it to be covered with mud so that only once in a while, when some special guest came from the West or from the East it could be uncovered for him. It should be closed for ordinary people.

OSHO:

Walk Without Feet, Fly Without Wings and Think Without Mind, Chapter 10

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Oh, Beloved. I continue our conversation — deepening here with this timely continuation. Both then/And now. Time is loosening. Hold me. ~LP
….The way of Tantra is not one of blind sensuality — and not only of spirituality either. It is of both/and. Tantra does not believe in the philosophy of either/or: it believes in the philosophy of both/and. It does not reject anything — it transforms everything. Only cowards reject. And if you reject something you will be that much poorer — because something has been left untransformed. A part of you will remain ungrown; a part of you will remain childish. Your maturity will never be total. It will be like your one leg remains on the first rung and your hand has reached to the last rung: you will be stretched along this polarity and you will be in anguish, in agony; your life will not be of ecstasy.

That’s why I say I preach Epicurus and Buddha together to you. Epicurus remains with the outer wall of the Khajuraho temple; he is right as far as he goes, but he does not go far enough. He simply takes a walk around the temple and goes home; he is not aware that he has missed the very point of the temple. Those outer walls are only outer walls; they exist for the inner shrine.
Buddha goes into the inner shrine, sits there. In that silence he remains, but he forgets about the outer wall. And without the outer wall there is no inner shrine.
To me, both are lopsided, half-half. Something has been rejected and something has been chosen — they have not been choiceless. I say to you: Accept all! the outer and the inner, the without and the within, and you will be the richest sannyasins upon the earth.
Drop guilt!


Tantra is the whole way — neither obsession with the world, nor withdrawal from it. It is being in the world lightly, with a little smile. It is playfulness. It doesn’t take things seriously. It is light of heart, it laughs. It is unashamedly earthly and infinitely other-earthly. The earth and the sky meet in Tantra; it is the meeting of polar opposites…

OSHO:

Walk Without Feet, Fly Without Wings and Think Without Mind, Chapter 10

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Beloved Punita, you found the text about the Khajuraho temples – what OSHO said about going from the outer by experiencing it all to the inner = going inside the temple by sex.    Premniri
” … Those are Tantra temples, the MOST sacred temples that still exist on the earth; all other temples are ordinary, bourgeois. Only Khajuraho and Konarak, these two temples, have a different message which is not ordinary, which is extraordinary. Extraordinary because it is true.

What is their message?

If you have been to these temples, you will be surprised that on the outer sunlit walls there are ALL kinds of sexual postures — men and women making love in so many postures! conceivable and inconceivable, possible and impossible. All the walls are full of sex. One is shocked. One starts feeling: What obscenity! One wants to condemn, one wants to lower one’s eyes. One wants to escape. But that is not because of the temple but because of the priest AND his poison inside you.

Go inside. As you start moving inside the temple, the figures are less and less, and love starts changing. On the outer walls it is pure sexuality; as you start entering inside, you will find sex is disappearing. Couples are still there, in deep love, looking into each other’s eyes, holding hands, embracing each other, but sexuality is no more there. Go still deeper figures are even less. Couples are still there, but not even holding hands, not even touching. Go still deeper — and the couples have disappeared. Go still deeper….

At the innermost core of the temple what in the East we call the GHARBA, the womb — there is not a single figure. The crowd is gone, the many is gone. There is not even a window for the outside! No light comes from the outside; it is utter darkness, silence, calm and quiet. And there is not even a figure of a god — it is emptiness, it is nothingness.

The innermost core is nothingness and the outermost core is a carnival. The innermost core is meditation, samadhi, and the outermost core is sexuality. This is the whole life of man depicted. …”

from: Walk Without Feet, Fly Without Wings and Think Without Mind
Chapter 10

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Nine Months since I called you feeling that I was  ‘going way out on a limb’ saying that I thought we should see each other before I left for the states. After just meeting you for the first time some few days before. Unexpected.

Nine Months since you took the train from Remptendorf to Berlin and spent the weekend with me in tree-lined  Steglitz apartment. Me packing, tying up some loose ends with Mahadevi, more packing. No plan what was happening. After all, we had only sat next to each other on the bench at Oshostadt, held hands and talked some. One kiss only.

Nine Months since you left back to your office near the forest, and I early the next morning back to Seattle after two months in Berlin. That Monday was the Mayan Calendar New Year.  That Sunday the first day we made some loving — my favorite ‘Day out of Time’. Definitely unrehearsed.

Nine Months since I hesitated just before telling you that I ‘felt pregnant’ after being with you that unexpected weekend in Berlin. I had waited a few days to say anything. But I knew the feeling. And you told me how it was for you riding back on the train. That you ‘felt pregnant’ …

And somewhere I remember saying very crisply clearly: I am a total yes to you. Whatever that meant. I had not rehearsed that line. It just spoke itself. I think I was cleaning the bathroom before I left the apartment ready for returning friends. I had asked you to help, and you did. I noticed how you helped. Everything felt easy.

And you commented that you weren’t allergic to me! And you brought all these great photos and stories of old girlfriends. We shared stories of old lovers. And our astrological charts — you brought them too! And your heart. And your depths. And your sex. And I think I talked quite a bit. We talked quite a bit. Taking it slow but intense.

We didn’t know anything. I felt a lot. We talked a lot on the phone. You came here, to Seattle, over New Year’s. And slowly, steadily, surely over the past nine months … oh, that’s for my next post …

After I pack and clean and pack some more and get this weekend’s Moving Sale behind me. But I had to take a moment today while the painters finish upstairs, and the real estate agent tries to convince me to invest $2000 in new carpeting. It’s all getting quite complete. It is complete.

And we have a date in Frankfurt on the 10th of June. How about that!?! Let’s see how this ‘baby’ turns out! After all there was no guarantee we would make it this far. Nine Months!  Yahoop! ~LP

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I was born 1954 into a German Catholic Westfalian farmers family. Around the dining table we were a bunch of people, five kids, mother and father, aunties and neighbors – our own commune.
And that’s how I ended up, living in commune at Oshostadt in Thüringen, Germany,
www.oshostadt.de.

We kids had a paradise playground in deep forests, fields, graze lands and river valleys. Even our own lake to swim and dive. Although helping at the farm and feeding the animals, we played a lot — enjoying our own independent world.
In spite of this wild life in nature, Catholic education killed any social abilities with “the other sex”. Girls – what’s that? Long talks with my elder brother were common – about anything else except  “that”.
As an intellectual teenager I had my Sigmund Freud phase, swallowing his books trying to find truths.
I once asked my brother: “If there have lived people like Jesus and Buddha whose teachings taste dusty and not up-to-date, more dead than alive for us today, why can’t there be someone like them living now?” I didn’t have the faintest idea how close I was … While studying Sociology/Psychology I went to a weekly group experimenting with human growth movement techniques – (Selbsterfahrungsgruppe). We tried it all: Bioenergetics, Encounter, Yoga, Zen, and Meditations that combined Western and Eastern methods. Developed by some guy in India with the name Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh – at the end of the 80’s he dropped that name and was simply called Osho. (see
www.osho.com).
In 1976 I did my first Osho Dynamic Meditation, Kundalini, Nadabrahma. I felt my body streamings, giving me the message “you can’t live through the head, it’s through the body!” One of Osho’s books, “The Hammer on the Rock”, had been translated into German. His writing was to me the taste of truth.

I dropped studying, learned organic farming and looked for a place in the countryside to live with others. After a year in an Otto-Mühl-oriented Landcommune, where we also tried free sex with changing partners, I was courageous enough to move to an Osho- Sannyas commune in Bavaria, Purvodaya. We went on “changing partners” combined with commune work, self-discovery groups and meditations. It was a fuckin’ juicy time.
Over the years commune members went “back to the marketplace”.  So did I, starting a textscan business in Munich and buying a fancy flat in the best part of town. It was a game for me, but after some years “in the city” I felt bored. After Germany’s re-unification,  a few “daring” friends like Swami Siddhartha (founder of Purvodaya)  looked for bigger properties to purchase in the Ex-DDR. And that’s how Oshostadt came to life, where I am sitting now running my textscan service, chopping wood and writing posts….

… and the story continues – how Westfalian farmboy meets New York chicken … yahooo!!! ~ premniri

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