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Corked up — never!

Well, DU, what to say after almost four months since we met up in Frankfurt? I bet we both could say a lot — but where to start, where to go, and where to end? Yikes! OK, Punita, just jump in.

I’ll start here where I am now. Recuperating and recharging in the gentle small Dutch city of Boxmeer just a few minutes drive from the German border. OK, almost everything’s smaller in Holland —but recuperating from what? Well, soon after I got over considerable jet lag (yes it gets bigger with age), I plunged into three non-stop months of culture shock, culture clash, and just plain putting-my-foot-in-my-mouth more times than you could count. Plus the most serious bladder infection EVER. Finding myself in the boonies of (prior) East German (DDR) territory and suddenly being dependent for every-little-thing transport. Plus living and eating again in commune after years of being mostly on my own… Not to mention finally, actually being together with you, PremNiri, after a year diving into the heights and depths of what-all is possible long-distance communicating.

Boxmeer/Kleve 2011

In a few days I return to DU, to my new space at Oshostadt, and to Chapter Zwei of my new life 2011-12. And that’s where the ‘recharging’ comes in. I do feel ready for whatever comes ‘next.’ I hope you do, too. Somehow, the first three difficult and extremely stressful months were necessary, even essential. For me, for Du, for everyone.This ain’t some excuse for my expectations or lack of savoir faire — just a feeling that somehow all the stress and craziness were perfectly OK. But NOT to be repeated, or stuck in with any pockets of resentment or pain.

So, Jan is calling me for a last quick shop in mild-mannered Boxmeer.

…A few hours later, I have plenty of Dutch sweeties for the commune’s 16:00 sweet tooth and something for Siddhartha as well. For DU I have already a bag of belated birthday kisses, mostly your deep blue colour.

But before I sign off from the Netherlands, this courtesy of my host’s daughter who just celebrated her MA  thesis on the novelist George Eliot:

“Thee’st done it now,” said Mr. Poysner, a little alarmed and uneasy, but not without some triumphant amusement at his wife’s outbreak.

“Yes, I know I’ve done it, ” said Mrs. Poysner; “but I’ve had my say out, and I shall be th’ easier for’t all my life. There’s no pleasure i’ living, if you’re going to be corked up forever, and only dribble your mind out by the sly, like a leaky barrel. I shan’t repent saying what I think…” (Adam Bede)

Well, I won’t repent — or repeat — these first three months either, DU.  And I look forward to being with you again. ~LP

Oh sweet beloved. The little note with the sparcling heart (under your laptop now) – I had forgotten about it. But I love it – after one year longdistance now – it’s still the same sparcling feeling!!!
WE MEET IN TWO DAYS!!!
It’s getting physical and our everydays phonecalls diving-into-each-other are the foreplay for the new phase in beeing together …

see you in Frankfurt
Premniri

Sometime or Sooner

What to say! Until we either HAVE the time, or STEAL the time, to write the full stories of How We Met almost exactly One Year ago — this note will HAVE to do!  Do you remember it? I left my USB connector in your office where I had finally found a location at Oshostadt with some post-80’s internet access. I called to ask you PLEASE to send it to me ASAP in Berlin. And you DID! I got it the next day in a small white bubble wrap envelope with this note hastily tucked inside. It’s been snuggled under my laptop every since. I have the envelope too. After all, it has your address on it. So now I can find my way back to you again.

I see you sooner in Frankfurt, Beloved! With kisses galore. ~LP

Saturnic clearings

Saturn – astrologically (as far my knowing goes) –  stands for crystallization, structure, truth.
In structuring our lives, his energy may be felt as disillusioning and harsh, especially when retrograde. But he helps to clear our dreamy stuff that may hinder a clear sight and space for life and actions.
For instance in our body the bones are the structure, where all organs, flesh and the liquid bloodsystem is rooted. Without it we would probably be big-blob amoebas still crawling on the oceans ground.
Bigger structures, like states and organisations in these years are “tested” for their truthful functioning and authenticity (through pluto in capricorn) …

Old man Finkelstein is brought to court for alleged rape. He pleads guilty by reason of insanity. “Insanity?” asks the judge. “You look perfectly sane to me.” Oh, I am,” says the old man. “It is sex I’m crazy about.”

Premniri

Beloved PN ~ I mentioned Saturn in my last post without any explanation. I really did not want to add any more words to it. There’s probably a bit we both might say about what we’ve learned through our lives about Saturn’s influence and hard lessons… but maybe you could say a little something — astrologically speaking? When you have the time.  ~LP

Hubble Space Telescope image of a storm on Saturn

Beloved ~ So many Old Life odds and sodds for me to tie up here in Seattle — last week I got seriously Italian pazzo (close to insane).  Crazed with exhaustion, my body hurting everywhere, I kept looking desperately for a second pair of hands to help me clear and pack, plus take care of all the delayed completions that are just small steps away from Being F_ Finished! Like Alice’s White Rabbit all I could hear 24/7 was: I’m late, I’m late, I’m late!! Until I woke up in the middle of the night, my ‘little girl’ simply stating : I am just TOO SMALL for Saturn. So I called you to say so, out loud. And you picked up your office phone.

And something of how relaxed you were that night with me and ‘my little girl’, I suddenly found myself dropping deeper into loving with you. Like riding on an elevator that abruptly drops, as if it were to fall to the bottom of the elevator shaft, but it doesn’t. Still you feel it in your belly, a shaking jolt downward. And it grabbed me again by surprise, suddenly out-of-nowhere falling vertically-in-love deeper-with-you (oh it’s so hard-to-say exactly, you know).
Mother Goose & Grimm Of course, all there was to do was to change my flight to a later date, still not without it’s anxiety moment.  And then I could start relaxing into just letting delayed things be delayed, and take their Saturnine Time to complete. But until that moment I just could not imagine any delay in seeing you, in our coming together after all our Long Distance Relating — and serious Sehnsucht.

So, to celebrate little girls and elevators, this (new favorite) joke you read me a few months ago:

The elevator in a NY skyscraper is packed with people. Suddenly a tall man screams out in agony. Little Ernie looks up at his mother, “I don’t care, Mum,” he says, “it was in my face so I bit it.”

~your lady, your little girl, and mine ~LP

Continuing with these incredible Khajuraho pictures and Osho’s insights – only a few weeks now before we meet in Frankfurt,
Premniri

….Listen to the body and go with the body. And soon you will see… sexuality is changing into spirituality. I have heard:
The sculptor, Bernini, made the moment of orgasm his model for St. Teresa’s experience of union with God.
He searched for a model. He wanted to make a statue of St. Teresa in the state of samadhi. He searched for the model — he could not find… except a woman in orgasm.
I love the story. Yes, that is true — I agree with Bernini absolutely. You cannot find anything else which can depict ecstasy, which can symbolize ecstasy. For the moment, a woman in orgasm IS in samadhi — although for the moment only. Soon the moment will be gone and she will plunge into deep darkness.

And the woman’s orgasm is deeper than the man’s, because the man’s orgasm has become very local. It is confined to his genitalia; his whole body remains unaffected. But if a woman goes into orgasm, if she goes, then her whole body goes into it. She is more total, more rounded, more of a whole. And when her whole body is throbbing with joy, is moving in a timeless moment, is no more part of a thinking process, all thoughts have disappeared, and there is great silence — yes, only that can depict….

And that has been the insight of all the saints who have attained. Whenever they have talked about God and the experience of God’s meeting, they have always brought the metaphor from sex. It has to be orgasm — it is the ULTIMATE orgasm, it is the TOTAL orgasm, it is the ETERNAL orgasm. But where can you find the right expression for it? You can find it only in the moment, the momentary orgasm, that sex makes possible for humanity to attain.
If you go to Khajuraho, you will see that: on every lover’s face that is sculpted on the outer walls, great ecstasy. So many people go to Khajuraho and Konarka, but they only look at the lower half of these figures; they become concentrated on the genitalia. Very few people have been able to see the whole figures. And, certainly, rarely has somebody been able to see the faces of the figures — because you are so much obsessed with sexuality, for or against, that you remain confined to the lower.

If you go and see Khajuraho, don’t miss the FACES of the lovers — they have the real message. Those faces are so blissful, so calm, so meditative, that you will not find such faces sculpted anywhere else. Such great ecstasy! Even the stone has bloomed in those faces; those faces have transformed the stone into roseflowers, into lotuses. Seeing those faces you will be able to see that these lovers are no more part of time and space; they have gone beyond.

The figures are sexually active, but they are not obsessed with sex — neither for nor against. Both are obsessions — for and against simply means things are no longer natural. When things are natural, you are neither for nor against.
Are you for sleep or against sleep? If you are for, you have become unnatural; if you are against, you have become unnatural. One is not for or against sleep! It is just a natural thing so is sex. And when sex is accepted naturally, it starts growing higher. Then one day, the bud spontaneously becomes a flower. Not that you have to DO something — just let the energy move! let the sap flow and the bud WILL become the flower.

Those faces are utterly at ease, in a state of let-go. They are in the world, but not of it. And they are not doing anything; they are just like small children playing on the sea beach. They are playful. But sexually obsessed people have been very much against Khajuraho. Mahatma Gandhi wanted it to be covered with mud so that only once in a while, when some special guest came from the West or from the East it could be uncovered for him. It should be closed for ordinary people.

OSHO:

Walk Without Feet, Fly Without Wings and Think Without Mind, Chapter 10