Feeds:
Posts
Comments

Posts Tagged ‘Intimacy’

FlyingHeartsBeloved L~ It’s almost one year since your Dad died. Prem Avinash. Invincible, Eternal Love as Osho named him as He gave him sannyas March ’75.

These last weeks Avinash has been vividly present for me — and a sharp ‘missing’. So this post w/quote to you in celebration of Happy Hearts Day (which we always celebrated together).

Neeraj sent it from Vancouver just yesterday with this note:

…In my own experience, in the service of grief and mourning, it seems that three years is a natural timing for the process to unwind itself with a truly significant person.  My mom’s departure will be 3 years ago in March, and I noted the same timing with others of importance.  
I have heard, Osho saying that he was ordinary, ‘if you cut me I bleed’ — so are each of us, like the elephants in their herds and other intelligent mammals, pre-programmed to care, and to learn and evolve out of grief and mourning, transformed.

Almost a year soon.  Happy Hearts Day! ~luvmum

THE HELPLESSNESS OF LOVE

My sister is dying. She has always been there for me whenever I needed anything; now when she needs me I feel so utterly helpless.

Whenever you love someone you feel totally helpless. That is the agony of love: one cannot feel what one can do. You want to do everything, you want to give the whole universe to the lover or the beloved, but what can you do? If you think that you can do this or that you are still not in a love relationship. Love is very helpless, absolutely helpless, and that helplessness is the beauty because in that helplessness you are surrendered.



Love someone and you will feel helpless; hate someone and you can do something. Love someone and you are absolutely helpless because what can you do? Whatsoever you can do seems insignificant and meaningless; it is never enough. Nothing can be done, and when one feels that nothing can be done, one feels that one is helpless. When one wants to do everything and feels nothing can be done, the mind stops. In this helplessness surrender happens. You are empty. That is why love becomes a deep meditation.
OSHO: The Book of Secrets, Talk #13

The moment of the death of someone you have loved deeply brings your own death into your mind. The moment of death is a great revelation. It makes you feel impotent and helpless. It makes you feel that you are not. The illusion of being disappears.

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

 

Anybody will be shaken because suddenly you see that the ground underneath your feet has disappeared. You cannot do anything. Somebody is dying that you love: you would even like to give your life but you cannot. Nothing can be done; one simply waits in deep impotence.

That moment can make you depressed. That moment can make you sad or that moment can send you on a great journey for truth…a great journey into the search. What is this life? If death comes and takes it, what is this life? What meaning does it carry if one is so impotent against death? And remember, everybody is on his or her deathbed. After birth everybody is on his deathbed. There is no other way. All beds are deathbeds, because after birth only one thing is certain and that is death.

Somebody dies today, somebody tomorrow and somebody the day after tomorrow: what is the difference basically? Time cannot make much difference. Time can only create an illusion of life but the life that ends in death is not and cannot be the real life. It must be a dream.

Life is authentic only when it is eternal. Otherwise, what is the difference between a dream and what you call your life? In the night, in deep asleep, a dream is as true as anything is, as real — even more real than what you see with open eyes. By the morning it is gone, not even a trace is left. In the morning when you are awake you see it was a dream and not a reality. This dream of life continues for a few years; then suddenly one is awakened and the whole of life proves to be a dream.

Death is a great revelation. If there were no death there would be no religion. It is because of death that religion exists. It is because of death that a Buddha was born. All buddhas are born because of the realization of death.

When you go and sit by the side of a dying person feel sorry for yourself. You are in the same boat, in the same plight. Death will knock on your door any day. Be ready. Before death knocks, come back home. You should not be caught in the middle; otherwise this whole life disappears like a dream and you are left in tremendous poverty, an inner poverty.

Life, real life, never dies. Then who dies? You die. The “I” dies, the ego dies. The ego is part of death; life is not. So if you can be egoless, then there is no death for you. If you can drop the ego consciously, you have conquered death. If you are really aware you can drop it in a single step. If you are not so aware you will have to drop it gradually. That depends on you. But one thing is certain: the ego has to be dropped. With the disappearance of the ego, death disappears. With the dropping of the ego, death is also dropped.

Don’t feel sorry for the dying person, feel sorry for yourself. Let death surround you. Have the taste of it. Feel helpless, impotent. Who is feeling helpless and who is feeling impotent? The ego — because you see you cannot do anything. You would like to help her and you cannot. You would like her to survive but nothing can be done.

Feel this impotence as deeply as possible and out of this helplessness, a certain awareness, a prayerfulness and a meditation will arise. Use the person’s death; it is an opportunity. Use everything as an opportunity.

Be by their side. Sit silently and meditate. Let their death become a pointer to you so that you don’t go on wasting your life. The same is going to happen to you.                                               OSHO: The Search, Talk #10

http://www.oshoworld.com/discourses/audio.asp

To continue reading – and see all the available formats of this talk    http://www.osho.com/library/

Read Full Post »

PN ~

Celebrating
This Moment
This Bliss
This Too-Muchness
This Disappearing in(to) Love
                    with You       ~LP

Zu mir Zu dir (To me — To you)

Read Full Post »

Well, DU, what to say after almost four months since we met up in Frankfurt? I bet we both could say a lot — but where to start, where to go, and where to end? Yikes! OK, Punita, just jump in.

I’ll start here where I am now. Recuperating and recharging in the gentle small Dutch city of Boxmeer just a few minutes drive from the German border. OK, almost everything’s smaller in Holland —but recuperating from what? Well, soon after I got over considerable jet lag (yes it gets bigger with age), I plunged into three non-stop months of culture shock, culture clash, and just plain putting-my-foot-in-my-mouth more times than you could count. Plus the most serious bladder infection EVER. Finding myself in the boonies of (prior) East German (DDR) territory and suddenly being dependent for every-little-thing transport. Plus living and eating again in commune after years of being mostly on my own… Not to mention finally, actually being together with you, PremNiri, after a year diving into the heights and depths of what-all is possible long-distance communicating.

Boxmeer/Kleve 2011

In a few days I return to DU, to my new space at Oshostadt, and to Chapter Zwei of my new life 2011-12. And that’s where the ‘recharging’ comes in. I do feel ready for whatever comes ‘next.’ I hope you do, too. Somehow, the first three difficult and extremely stressful months were necessary, even essential. For me, for Du, for everyone.This ain’t some excuse for my expectations or lack of savoir faire — just a feeling that somehow all the stress and craziness were perfectly OK. But NOT to be repeated, or stuck in with any pockets of resentment or pain.

So, Jan is calling me for a last quick shop in mild-mannered Boxmeer.

…A few hours later, I have plenty of Dutch sweeties for the commune’s 16:00 sweet tooth and something for Siddhartha as well. For DU I have already a bag of belated birthday kisses, mostly your deep blue colour.

But before I sign off from the Netherlands, this courtesy of my host’s daughter who just celebrated her MA  thesis on the novelist George Eliot:

“Thee’st done it now,” said Mr. Poysner, a little alarmed and uneasy, but not without some triumphant amusement at his wife’s outbreak.

“Yes, I know I’ve done it, ” said Mrs. Poysner; “but I’ve had my say out, and I shall be th’ easier for’t all my life. There’s no pleasure i’ living, if you’re going to be corked up forever, and only dribble your mind out by the sly, like a leaky barrel. I shan’t repent saying what I think…” (Adam Bede)

Well, I won’t repent — or repeat — these first three months either, DU.  And I look forward to being with you again. ~LP

Read Full Post »

Oh sweet beloved. The little note with the sparcling heart (under your laptop now) – I had forgotten about it. But I love it – after one year longdistance now – it’s still the same sparcling feeling!!!
WE MEET IN TWO DAYS!!!
It’s getting physical and our everydays phonecalls diving-into-each-other are the foreplay for the new phase in beeing together …

see you in Frankfurt
Premniri

Read Full Post »

Oh, Beloved. I continue our conversation — deepening here with this timely continuation. Both then/And now. Time is loosening. Hold me. ~LP
….The way of Tantra is not one of blind sensuality — and not only of spirituality either. It is of both/and. Tantra does not believe in the philosophy of either/or: it believes in the philosophy of both/and. It does not reject anything — it transforms everything. Only cowards reject. And if you reject something you will be that much poorer — because something has been left untransformed. A part of you will remain ungrown; a part of you will remain childish. Your maturity will never be total. It will be like your one leg remains on the first rung and your hand has reached to the last rung: you will be stretched along this polarity and you will be in anguish, in agony; your life will not be of ecstasy.

That’s why I say I preach Epicurus and Buddha together to you. Epicurus remains with the outer wall of the Khajuraho temple; he is right as far as he goes, but he does not go far enough. He simply takes a walk around the temple and goes home; he is not aware that he has missed the very point of the temple. Those outer walls are only outer walls; they exist for the inner shrine.
Buddha goes into the inner shrine, sits there. In that silence he remains, but he forgets about the outer wall. And without the outer wall there is no inner shrine.
To me, both are lopsided, half-half. Something has been rejected and something has been chosen — they have not been choiceless. I say to you: Accept all! the outer and the inner, the without and the within, and you will be the richest sannyasins upon the earth.
Drop guilt!


Tantra is the whole way — neither obsession with the world, nor withdrawal from it. It is being in the world lightly, with a little smile. It is playfulness. It doesn’t take things seriously. It is light of heart, it laughs. It is unashamedly earthly and infinitely other-earthly. The earth and the sky meet in Tantra; it is the meeting of polar opposites…

OSHO:

Walk Without Feet, Fly Without Wings and Think Without Mind, Chapter 10

Read Full Post »

“Kein Du, bist hier, bei mir, NICHT GUT!”

After so many months of foreplay YOU COME over

to Premniris place in Oshostadt.
And after so many moments of SEHNSUCHT through the phone, finally ….

Premniri

Read Full Post »

Breakthrough

Enough is Enough!

I WANNA BE WITH U — ENUF FONE FOR US

OK! That l o n g phone conversation today — definitely the HARDEST! Do you agree? Or did I imagine it? Were you able to get some sleep? Eventually? Tell me!

After sitting on my cell in the car in the rain, I came back to the house  (stripped of all the little clutter that made it somewhat cozy, packing boxes everywhere in between) still on fire somewhere intense. I remembered my Silly Songs that got me through March/April. So I am singing/shouting them once more, this time on top of the volcano that says: ENUF FONE! This long-distance phase is over! Whaddya think, DU?

250 px - Grumpy_music

Punita's Silly Song

March 21 Doesn’t feel good — to be so far away from you

No way, No how, Anyhow, No Good!

Doesn’t feel correct — to see the moon so far from you

No sir, No how, Anyhow, NO GOOD!

Doesn’t feel right — to sleep so far away from you

No you, no here, by me, NO GOOD!

Macht kein spass — to be so weit weg  von Dir

Nicht gut, no how, No Sir, NICHT GUT!

Klingt nicht schoen — ich schlaf so weit(e) weg von Dir

Kein Du, bist hier, bei mir, NICHT GUT!

My Desktop in Spring

April 8

Doesn’t seem appropriate to feel the fone between us now

Was Fun. You bet! No more. No how!

Gibt’s keine ruhe to hold the fone between us jetzt

War toll. Aber bitte! Mein Gott, es reicht!!

PS When all else fails — post!  ~lp

Read Full Post »

Older Posts »